This is my fourth Christmas since the divorce, and I have to say that this year there is peace in my heart unlike any I’ve ever known.
Four years ago, I was a shell of a woman. I was heart broken, sad, confused and angry. Two years ago was even worse as I bore witness to the unraveling of my own children as they navigated the isolation of Covid while our family split in two. Last year I thought we were doing better, but it turns out that we were just better at wearing masks that said “we’re okay” when the reality was, we were not.
And that brings me to this Christmas morning in 2023. The kids are gathering for coffee cake and presents at their Dad’s while Jasper and I sit in the silence of this cold winter morning. In a moment we will head to the dog park for our usual canine social hour, then I will feed by body with some nourishing food before I head to yoga at noon. The kids will come home in the late afternoon and we will travel to Oma’s house for homemade eggnog, beef wellington and our traditional yule log cake and gifts. It’s almost too good to be true!
It has been hard earned to arrive at this place of inner peace, which is why I decided to take a moment this Christmas morning to honor my journey through the darkness from which this peace sprang, and share it with whoever else out there who may be searching for that “Christmas” feeling. Ironically, my inner peace begins with my descision to unsubscribe from Christmas.
The Christmas Unsubscribe
This year I officially unsubscribed from Christmas. I did not write Christmas cards, we did not take a family photo, I did not buy gifts for all of my coworkers and neighbors and friends, nor did I go to the mall (not once), nor participate in a cookie exhange. I didn’t even go to one single ugly sweater or white elephant party.
Instead, I replicated the stillness of nature at this time of year. I made lentil soup in the crockpot and mulled a warm winter cocktail with oranges, cranberries and cloves. With great love and reverance I created my 2023 Hindsight playlist and listened to the playlists made by my children while we hung icicle lights from the roof of our house. I invited a household of guests over to celebrate the Winter Solstice, and welcome the return of the light. I created lunar events that allowed space for reflection, community and ceremony. I took walks to the park with Jasper in his fancy Christmas sweater. I watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” by myself on Christmas Eve with Jasper in my lap. In short, this Christmas season I only did that which filled my soul.
This is what rewriting your story looks like.
Rewrite Your Story
When your world falls apart the way mine did back in 2019-2021, you abruptly wake up to LIFE. You realize that there has to be another way, a better way to live. You learn to conserve your energy as you move through the intense grief. You listen to the wisdom of the trees at this time of year. You realize that you are the author of your life and you can write your script HOWEVER you want. You let go of what society and your childhood instilled in your belief system, and instead you find the stillness within.
I unsubscribed from Christmas because I didn’t want to feel exhausted and resentful anymore. My life was already in shambles, and as soon as I faced the reality that it was up to me to decide how I wanted to move forward, I chose to feel the joy, wonder and magic that abounds at this time of year! I had to LET GO of what no longer served me (which for me, meant unsubscribing from Christmas) so that I could make room for the peace and joy that I desired at this time of year. I have rewritten Christmas for myself, and it feels so damn good!!
I believe that anyone can create this peaceful state of mind if it’s what they desire. And maybe, just maybe, you won’t have to go through such a heartbreaking experience as I did in order to arrive at this destination.
On the day of the first New Moon in 2024 (1-11), I will be launching my 7-week transformational mindset program called “Rewrite Your Story“. I will guide you through the 7 critical steps that I took as I worked to recreate my own life from a place of joy and inner peace, and help you to do the same. Wherever you are, whatever it is that you desire, I want to help you live your most courageously authentic life!
To learn more about the Rewrite Your Story program, click here. Mercury is in retrograde right now, which is slowing down the dissemination of information that I have to share, but if you join the Rewrite Your Story Adventure Waitlist, you will be the first to get all the details about the program…I’m anticipating it to be ready by the end of Christmas week!
As I close this post about how I am rewriting Christmas for myself, I want to remind you that your story may look very different from mine. This post is less about what I’m doing (or rather what I’m not doing) and is more about asking you to check in with your heart this Christmas Day. How do you feel? Be really honest with yourself. And if you’re not in a good place, that’s okay, and there is hope. And if you are, take a moment to give thanks just as I am doing here with this post.
My favorite childhood Christmas song was Walking in a Winter Wonderland, and this rendition is performed by one of my favorite singers from my teens, Jewel. I hope that the music and magic of her voice will fill you with joy and peace this Christmas day. And may you listen to the sleighbells…what are they saying to you? And take time today to dream by the fire.