Ever since I boldy proclaimed the choice to leave my life-long career of teaching in last week’s From the Ashes series on Fear (“Get in the backseat”), I have been riddled with an unbalanced mix of excitement for what’s next and fear of what’s next.
Joseph Campbell says this:“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive….Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you.” —Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
So my question today is how do I follow my bliss? How do I reconcile my desire for a meaningful life with the practical reality of providing for three teens and a little puppy as a single mom? How do I make money? How do I expain my leap of faith to people who don’t believe in faith or a loving, supportive Universe? How do I say goodbye to the known? How? How? How?
Fear is real and for me it has shown up phsyically. Two days ago I developped a pain in my lower right back. According to Louise Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life“, a pain in your lower back signifies that there’s an underlying fear of money or lack of financial support. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up! It is of no suprise that my resignation and recent back pain coincided with the visit of my wonderfully wise, pragmatic and financially successful Dad who is in town to help me with taxes and finances.
This weekend I’ve had to grow up (which I realize is sort of ridiculous as I’m two months shy of celebrating my 50th birthda!) and tell my dad that I’m leaving the security of my job as a public educator to pursue my dream of becoming a spiritual teacher, writer and mindset coach. I’ve had to let go of my limiting belief around how one traditionally makes a living (what I was raised to believe) and spread the wings that I’ve grown in my cocoon to be affirm my new belief that I am a powerful creator of my life (what I have learned to believe through the life lessons of the past three years).
Fia’s album “Made of Stars” continues to be my inspiration as I write and teach From the Ashes. This week’s song “Leaving it All Behind” speaks to the courage that overrides the fear in our hearts when we embark on something new.
Fia sings“I’m back in the place where I was born but I
Don’t feel home anymore
My wandering feet are taking me to
Places where spirits soar
So I’m leaving
Leaving it all behind
Anything that’s weighing me down
And I give zero fucks about what they think
And how I should live my life
Cause the things prescribed for me by society
I ain’t taking no more
(I’m) Carving a path that will suit the genius I am
And I know that I am part of
An evolution, a raising of consciousness
And I chose to come down at this time
To shine my blinding beautiful light”
On this beautiful sunny, snow-covered Sunday morning, I am taking deep breaths and remembering that it’s not up to me to figure out the “hows”. My job is to respond to the dream that’s been planted inside my heart and to face the fear head on and decide each day to courageously take the driver’s seat, despite the loud practical rhetoric in my head. The low-back affirmations from Louise Hay are:
- I trust the process of life.
- All I need is always taken care of.
- I am safe.
And so the journey continues. My GPS is set on the Land of Enchantment, which is my inner vision for a meaningful life full of love, community, travel, creative work, health, wealth, joy, gratitude and abundance. It’s also the subject for Week Three of From the Ashes (Enchantment: Follow Your Bliss). The joy truly is in the journey. I do not attach to the end result. I envision the feeling of the Land of Enchantment. I trust the timing of the Universe. I take one courageous step at a time (and on occasion, I take a necessary leap!)
Are you contemplating a leap of faith? Perhaps reading this is your sign that it’s time!
For more on Fear and practical steps on how to embrace it, I encourage you to listen to last’s week’s class on my Let Love Rise YouTube channel. And please tune in to Instagram Live next Wednesday, March 8th for Week Three of From the Ashes: Enchantment, Follow Your Bliss!
Now go forth and be courageously, beautifully, authentically YOU!